I'm not the only person who grew up being told to "calm down" or told to shrink my personality. Messages of this nature have become part of my conditioning, ingrained in my psyche during my formative years, and it is only now being examined and reevaluated. I am not knocking the way I was raised, just realizing it does not serve me anymore. What best serves me are my core beliefs, authenticity being one of them, which have expanded my comfort zone helping me navigate spaces where I might feel less than worthy. Everybody has their comfort zone and I am getting more and more curious about the moments when those zones overlap, like a Venn Diagram.
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Right before falling asleep I run through the events of my day and determine whether or not the day was a "success". Some days I am out exploring the city, editing videos and social media content, getting a workout in and binging something on NetFlix and in bed by 1am. That's a total win in my book! Other days, I only leave my room for the free breakfast in the lobby and stay in bed mindlessly scrolling on my phone, still a win!
The thing I am beginning to understand this tour is where my metric for success truly lies. Prior to this tour, my days were only "successful" if they involved filling up most of the waking hours with some activity. Spending the day at home was a total waste. Looking at it now, I'm able to see I was conflating success with tangible productivity. I would mentally flog myself for not doing "enough", which is a struggle I am constantly battling. Now that I've untethered the two in my mind I can redefine success! I consider my day successful if I can honestly say that I showed up with my entire being. When walking around the city am I noticing the buildings and people around me? Onstage, am I taking in the audience's genuine reaction to a dance routine I've done over 125 times? This also includes any failures, setbacks, or shortcomings I may encounter. If I was present in experiencing the Now and trying to live authentically then all is well! I'm realizing I can have more and more success each day just being myself, in whatever form that takes. I have diagnosed myself with creativity anxiety! Whether that's an actual term or not, is uncertain, but I know what it feels like. It is the mental back and forth that comes when preparing to share a new creative project. The dialogue usually goes something like this:
Brandon: "Ohh, I have this idea" Inner Critic: "Yeah, but what good will it be?" Brandon: "It has potential to be great, plus it's a challenge for me" Inner Critic: "Oh, potential? So you'll probably fail and look stupid for even trying." Brandon: "Oh, you're right. Maybe now is not the right time" I'm always looking for ways to overcome my inner critic's voice and the critic is very adaptable at finding new ways to show up in my life. Sometimes the voice only rings inside my head and other times it disguises itself as voices around me, like some sick ventriloquist. Truth be told, this scene is overplayed. My new way to overcome the IC is the 100 Day Project. Sharing a bit of my writing every day (or as best as I can) to become more familiar with uncertainty and fostering a place for my art to "just be". As with any endeavor the more time dedicated, coupled with patience, can bring forth the biggest result! Day 1 done... I'm writing this from a place of anger and frustration...That being said, I'm going to get into this...
The attacks on Jussie Smollett have deeply affected me because I am Jussie Smollett. I don't have his notoriety but when walking down the street we are potential targets of hate motivated violence. I cannot alter my skin colour or sexuality to guarantee my safety, a fact that I had to grow to understand and accept. I posted an open letter to his attackers denouncing their actions and also identified MAGA supporters in connection with their actions. I see comments from people all over the internet trying to defend and distance themselves from the suspects and still proudly touting their support of President Trump. I am trying to understand their logic in even needing to speak up. Do I have to "like" your well intentioned but empathy lacking comments? Am I supposed to be grateful when I see people chime in on for a marginalized person's story offering sympathy but sneakily state they believe in a politician turning the crank on the nation's carousel of history? I witness digital friend detoxes on the daily based on political views, and I'm not going to join that bandwagon. I need MAGA supporters to: 1) STOP trying to ease your "MAGA guilt" on my posts. You probably don't see your actions as such, but I'll tell you how I see it. Whenever something bad happens and MAGA is attached to it, you feel the need to say things like, "I'm a Trump supporter but I would never do this" or "These people make the rest of us look bad". You are seeking some sort of asylum that you do not get lumped in with a less than favorable group. It's similar to someone saying people like you are criminals, drug dealers, and rapists. But that would not happen in post-racial America right? 2) STOP assuming that you are exempt from rebuttal When other people decide to reply to your comments and you find yourself in a social media argument, do not be offended. It is not an attack of your personhood, merely someone doing exactly what you did: stating their OPINION! Do not stand on your soapbox as a vocal supporter of a man who ran a dirty campaign based on asserting dominance over others and follow his lead by turning a deaf ear to what others have to say. 3) SPEAK UP against MAGA supporting posts By commenting on my stuff, it seems to me you are trying to change my perspective on your political party. Why not for a change, try to change the views of those within your community? Don't convince me of your holiness, but go to those pages where you see comments supporting violence and denounce those actions. You obviously have different opinions on what MAGA stands for, so go change THEIR minds. You have access to a space where your voice is going to carry further than mine...Congratulations, you just discovered the definition of privilege! TAKEAWAY: The fact that two men under the cover of MAGA hats and ski masks are still at large terrifies me. My show is scheduled to go to Chicago next week. I don't know if they will attack again, or if they have other "friends" planning to do the same thing. Sure, "the crime seems pre-meditated and suspicious" (Hello! WHAT CRIME ISN'T SUSPICIOUS) but that does not erase the fact many Trump supporters are overlooking...this modern day lynching happened to another human being. Telling me to wait for all the facts, or read "trustworthy" sources, is equivalent to waving a shiny object in front of me so I don't see another black body hospitalized by members of your political party. Actions speak louder than words. I recall being around age 9 or 10 when I started to gain awareness of my body.
STORY: Shopping for clothes and purchasing from the "husky boys" section of the clothing racks I spent many mall visits hiding amongst the racks of hangers. "Alright,", I would think to myself, "now I'm the tall, husky kid in class!" Another physical sign came as an increase in my chest, what I'd later be diagnosed with gynecomastia (enlarged breast tissue caused by a hormone imbalance). This caused my chest to develop a more feminine aesthetic through my clothing, which I tried to counteract with wearing undershirts and looser fitting shirts. Even making sure to wear shirts at whatever pool party I decided to attend despite the growing anxiety. But prepubescent children can still clock and exploit anything "different". I was on the receiving end of misgendered insults, being called "a girl" or accused of having to wear a bra. These shouts came from older kids and I would dread walking past their designated lunch area to get to my own, trying my hardest to not look their way or draw attention to myself but keeping one eye and ear open. Christmas break of seventh grade I underwent surgery to remove the excess tissue, which left me with a flatter chest and permanently scarred nipples. Fast forward to high school, carrying the fear of having to explain the asymmetrical nature of my nipples in PE, and my body "betrays" me again. Along with increased body hair comes the increased risk of cysts. I got them on my tailbone, my armpits, and even the base of my skull! This particular site required another surgery and to "recover" with a long piece of gauze packed into the hole that would protrude as it healed. Think of it like a medical grade rattail hairstyle. I would constantly adjust my shirt collar thinking that would hide my accessory (read: shame) and favor hoodies over pullovers every chance I got. I can only remember one or two times my cyst scar brought about discussion in a classroom setting. Freshman year of college, coming out of the closet at about 240 lbs I had no doubt in my mind that everything about me (nipples, cysts, weight) was the primary reason for my permanent single status on Facebook. So I utilized an unhealthy method of starvation coupled with haphazard gym sessions to drop almost 30 lbs in about 3 months time. Still trying to navigate my new understanding of being an out gay man, I started working at Abercrombie & Fitch. My thought process being acceptance by the "fashionable" brand equated to widespread acceptance in the gay community. Looking back, I know how problematic that was, but hindsight is 20/20. I eventually left the retail industry and found my way to Disneyland in 2009. It was at Disney that I saw gay men with bodies of different sizes, shapes and abilities all doing what they loved the most, performing! I began to reevaluate my relationship to my body, made conscious healthy steps to attain my goals, and released the pressure that I alone placed on myself. TAKEAWAY: Now almost 20 years since being first called "husky", scarred by surgeries, and battling a hateful, resenting relationship with my body, I see the body for what it is! It is merely a vehicle. A house made of meat and bones carrying around my spirit. A resilient spirit that endured body shaming ridicule from others. A strong spirit that carried the weight of anxiety that comes from living a closeted life. A loving spirit that dares to share its wounds with others, knowing that "the wound is where the light enters". A joyous spirit belonging to me, making it so unique that "no body" can strip away its essence. I accept that my body will never reach the level of perfection society/beauty/masculine culture, knowing that my body's job is to help me connect with others. So far, it has done this perfectly! I started 2018 with the intention to live in a state of gratitude. I honestly wanted to stop viewing myself as a victim to my circumstances and learn to see EVERYTHING that happens as a gift. Even the "shitty" moments. This perspective shift was not easy at first, it took a lot of mental fortitude and constant reassurance. I can remember working on the Disney Wonder, after being yelled at by a guest being denied a photo with their favorite character, exhaling, then saying, "Thank you, Universe I'll take some more please." Not really believing my own gratitude, but I knew that I had to "fake it till I make it". After more moments like that one, I found myself starting to give thanks as an automatic response and genuinely smiling after encountering "negative" guests, and soon found that the same response works with positive interactions as well.
It's not much of a secret that I want to be in a relationship, but given my nomadic and unpredictable career it is not something that I actively pursue anymore. I did not necessarily "give up", but I also did not see myself as worth someone's time. I thought I was "too flighty, too random, too ambitious" for anybody to want to get to know, it was easy to hide from these fears by staying focused on various projects and burying myself under a mountain of self-help books. I now understand that "busy" can be another form of avoidance. STORY TIME: I was sitting on the deck reading "Start With Why" by Simon Sinek, when this cute guy let's call him, JC, stopped to show me he was listening to the same book on his phone. At first I thought nothing of it, until I started writing in my journal that night. I was certainly thanking the Universe a lot, haha. We started to spend time together, getting to know each other and talk about our beliefs, upbringing, and life. He introduced me to many new authors/speakers and in general just had a good vibe I was really attracted to. (Note: for some strange reason, time seems to move both slow and fast on a ship. It's easy for relationships to bloom quickly given the close quarters and at the same time a 3 day cruise feels like a week) Fast forward to JC having to debark the ship, I'll admit I was attached and not looking forward to the next day knowing that I would be listening to the latest podcast alone. I remember my mind sliding from loneliness to gratitude as quickly as that little bubble tool used to check if a picture frame is level. Eventually the scale settled on the side of solace, but that only came after repeating, "Thank you Universe" Thank you for helping me learn to co-create a space where we could both express our highs and lows without judgement. Thank you for showing me a reflection of the love I was withholding from myself. I started to see all of the time spent with JC was to help me realize that I'm worthy of romance and those earlier thoughts do not serve as "deal breakers" for others, so why keep them for myself? The pain felt when he debarked hurt, but it was only when he left I could begin to refill that void with a new view. JC never intended to hurt me, it is just how the cards were dealt, but that does not void all the events from our brief time together. What truly matters is the lesson learned. I am worthy! TAKEAWAY: We all are worthy but it is not easy to always see it hidden beneath toxic thoughts and fear of the unknown. For myself it took some floating on the high seas, for others it may come from a career transition, birth of a child, or death of a loved one. Each of our journeys will be different, it's up to us to reflect on the situation, give thanks, and carry on. My wish for 2019 is you continue on your path knowing that nothing can take away that which is already in you!
THE STORY:
Getting ready for an audition and I was having the usual pre-audition inner thoughts: "There will be many people better than me at this audition" "There's no way I can do this" "This will just lead to hurt and disappointment". I was able to recognize these thoughts as not my own and knew that as much "help" they were trying to be, they just had to be placed somewhere outside of my head. So I wrote them in my "Mayan Worry Doll Notepad" Listing out my fears caused a shift of perspective, I zoomed the lens out and suddenly I found a deeper meaning to this audition. It no longer was about my next tour/paycheck but a vehicle to fulfill my purpose, entertainment through storytelling. Future audiences would not be able to witness their favourite characters come to life and experience the heroic adventures in a massive arena setting if I did not attend the audition. This audition was either going to bring me in front of those hypothetical people or prepare me in some way to be in front of some other audience. Removing the layer of self-inflected pressure, I was able to release my mental grip on the situation and surrender to the will of the universe. I was released early from the audition but NOT before: making a new contact with tips for my upcoming UK trip, reuniting with friends from different chapters in life, and being advised to audition for another production by the company. None of these seemingly insignificant incidents would have occurred if I stayed at home, AAANNNDDD when I remind myself that everything happens for a reason I maintained a smile and kept my head up leaving that audition space. Ready for the next audience who needs me! THE TAKEAWAY: Anyone who prepares for an audition, interview, or even Tindr date, has similar thoughts pop up (but if you are reading this and thinking, "Ha, that's not me" I'd love to discuss your mental ninja skills) and sometimes will find themselves down a dark rabbit hole unable to return. That rabbit hole can take many different forms like numbing through food/alcohol/drugs, social media rants about Infinity War spoilers, or making oneself "busy" with work/social engagements. Whatever shape the rabbit hole, ultimately it is our fear manifested. When the fear strikes we must strike back, but not in the ways we are accustomed: public posts on social media, lashing out to others, hiding behind the ever-popular line, "I'm fine". Why not write things out, talk to trusted friends, meditate or pray? I am inviting you to transfigure your fear. Discover ways to take the focus off yourself and see any vulnerable endeavor as a means to fulfilling your purpose, whatever you believe it to be. See examples below:
Audition: "This is the way I get to showcase someone else's work in the world...and possibly get paid while doing it"
Interview: "This is the way I get to provide services to help make the world a better place...and get paid while doing it" Date: "This is the way I get to spread love in the world...and possibly get laid while doing it"
It's been a little over three years since my last post...So let's get into it!
One of my favorite musicals, RENT, has a line that I've been repeating and is starting to take on a deeper meaning at this current moment in my life..."The only way out is up, a leap of faith." Maureen has been screaming at me for years to step outside my comfort zone in order to align with my personal purpose, which had I not gone to my third Disneyland audition in 2009 my life you wouldn't be reading this now! The time has come once again to jump and embrace life getting a little uncertain. That's what I intend this blog to be. An arena to practice being uncomfortable in the hopes that this bravery will influence my life in arenas beyond the keyboard. I believe that I have a story to share and a message to spread, even if the messages are not universally received. This space is to help me bypass the "gatekeepers" of the creative world and not seek permission or validation to share my talents, my thoughts, or myself with the world. I'll be honest, I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL WRITER and my style is not up to par with other bloggers who can take what I have to say and present it in a much better fashion, but that is what makes it mine. I am not looking to compete with others or recreate their successes. I want to compete with myself and make sure when I look back I see a trail of upward growth, like what Elsie whispered to Maureen. This endeavor is a little cringe because my ego is screaming all sorts of obscenities telling me this is a stupid idea, which lets my spirit, my soul, my being know... I gotta do it!
In the hopes of bringing you nothing but fun, entertaining videos of my adventures...I present to you episode three of "Brandon And..."
High in the green hills of Falmouth, Jamaica resides a little humble estate of 2,000 acres where zipline canopies and inflatable pool rings await the bravest of souls. Good Hope Estate "offers a variety of tours unlike any other location". While some members of the group tested their strength on a ropes obstacle course, I suited up and trekked through the jungle to realize my dreams of being George of the Jungle...
Welcome to the second episode of the “Brandon And…” series! I’ll keep this intro brief so you can get right to the video! Our newest member of Magic 33, Sarah, has reached the end of her contract and to celebrate the greatest six weeks of her life she suggested the cast take a trip to Paradise Beach in Cozumel, Mexico. With promises of water slides, authentic Mexican food, and free Wi-Fi the cast was all too happy to fulfill her request. Ya’ll, this place definitely delivered! Check out the video below and keep on the lookout for future adventures! Next episode: “Brandon and the Zipline” A web series featuring yours truly and...well, anything that is on my mind. These videos could be showcasing a recent adventure, my thoughts on a particular subject, a short film I made, or interviews with people. Pretty much whatever I want. If there's something you want to see in an upcoming video, please let me know!! Happy watching friends...
So let me let you know what I've been up to these last few weeks, obviously way too busy to keep up a regular posting schedule but thanks for checking up on me anyway! Magic 33 rang in the New Year in grand ship style with a midnight countdown dance party visited by Father Time (Goofy) and Baby New Year (Donald Duck). The ship was pretty quiet the next morning with guests recovering from the festivities. [The video above was not taken by me but best captures the energy of the night] I have gotten time to spend off the ship as well, a group of us went on a port adventure out to Stingray City and Dolphin Cove in Grand Cayman and had a great time. Although I've swam with dolphins before, never have I ever spent more than 30 seconds with a string ray outside of the walls of Sea World. We were brought out to this sand bar 30 minutes off the coast and fed, touched, and even kissed stingrays (living dangerously). In other news, I bought a new computer and I'm super obsessed with her and plan on making tons more videos (assuming I can find time to edit). Here's one I made about "Stin Gray Ka Siti" If there's one thing that'll bring people together, it's ice cream. (Unless people are lactose intolerant, but even then I'm sure people will sacrifice their internal stomach lining for some good ice cream) Am I right?
There was a massive collection of tchotchkies decorated on the walls and all of the shelves. You know that candy shop from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...it reminded me of that! There were some vintage Disney statues lost in the crowd too, but leave it to us to spot them! Overall everybody had a good time and I was happy to see so many of the Magic 33 cast out together braving the cold weather for some cold treats! Of course, there is a video to relive the whole thing...So please enjoy and go visit Dutch Dreams for all your frozen needs! Having finally awakened from the comas experienced after The Burger's Priest, the Toronto Junk Food Crawl group made it's way through the city (on a 40 min walk) to the doorstep of Duff's Famous Wings! This place is known for it's variety of buffalo sauces which range from Mild to Armageddon. Being a carnivore myself, I was so very ready to see what this restaurant had to offer. I was not, however, prepared to eat a "Death" wing (the second hottest flavor). Girls and boys let me let you know, never before have I experienced a lip-burning, pulse-racing, sweat-inducing buffalo sauce as what lies behind Duff's kitchen! Most everyone was brave enough to try just one of the hottest wings, although there are urban legends telling of strong (or stupid) individuals who consumed upwards of 50 death/armageddon wings. As you will see from the video below we could barely handle one! Enjoy... So there's a BuzzFeed article called, "17 Delicious Junk Foods You Need to Eat in Toronto" and the Magic 33 cast is up to the challenge! I present to you episode one in a brand new series I'm calling Toronto Junk Food Crawl...It's gonna be my version of a food show one would see on Travel Channel...sort of like Man vs. Food! Anyways, I digress and I present to you episode 1... Where do you go when you've sinned against the food gods? Why, you go to the Burger's Priest of course! Look out for that Vatican on Ice burger...a slab of ice cream between two griddled cheese buns?? Sounds odd, but tastes like heaven...go figure! I disembarked from the DREAM on September 21, and spent 5 amazing days in Orlando visiting Walt Disney World and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter! I flew home to LA and the first thing I did was go to In-N-Out! But was there any other option for a welcome home meal? As a birthday present to myself and best friend I bought tickets to the tour of Kinky Boots, which was playing in San Diego while I was home. And just like when I first saw the show, I sat in my seat crying and dreaming of the day I will walk that stage as Lola. Made my way to Disneyland and watched pretty much every show in the park and felt that same magic I felt back when I was an Annual Passholder. From the moment I walked through the gates, it was as though I had never left. I was greeted by so many wonderful friends and I was reminded how I will always have a home there. To my DLR cast members I say, never once doubt the magic you make for guests because you are truly special!
After Vegas, I spent three days packing up for my next contract. Which brings us to now...I'm back in Toronto rehearsing with the insanely silly Magic 33 cast. I'm still getting to know our Mainstagers but the people you see in the photo below are my zoo crew peeps and already they've found a soft spot in my heart! Now let's make some magic...Oh, and did I mention I'm also into karaoke now too?
One of our managers asked the cast to think about what motivates us... Well, let's cross off the fact that I simply love the Disney company...but I also love the inspiration that the company evokes. Allow me to elaborate, this is a globally recognized company that all started with one man's dream and a drawing. That alone is enough to inspire me to never write off my own dreams as trivial. As I write this I can hear that cheesy and "Disney-fied" tone but think about this...those cliché dreaming and believing motifs are associated with Disney because the company has proved anything is possible and continue to on a daily basis. I can remember being 15 sitting in front of Town Square Firehouse lining up for the Parade of Dreams at Disneyland and a woman from Guest Control tell me, "You should audition for the parade". Although I can't remember that Cast Member's name (I wanna say Geri...and she may have been from PhotoPass), it is the feeling that I could one day be good enough to dance down Main Street she left me with that still remains. To put it in Disney terms, "at last I see the light, and it's like the fog has lifted". I realize now that my motivation to perform for the Disney company lies in my desire to instill the hope that everybody's dream is valid and possible to achieve. I give each show my all so other 15 year old boys who love princesses (and everyone else) can watch Disney shows and be inspired to believe that there is no dream too big, even though it seems tough and impossible to achieve. #NoFear You know how people say "I can't imagine where I'd be if it weren't for *fill in the blank*? I've made some of my life's best memories while working at the Disney company and know that this adventure is just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe an iceberg analogy isn't the best to make while onboard...but I'm sailing the Caribbean, I better not see any icebergs. After years of auditioning, months of anticipation, weeks of rehearsals, and a last few days of freedom, I finally stepped aboard my new home. It has been a crazy blur of endless days and nights leading up to this moment. We had to leave Toronto at 6:30am, which means I had to be ready to leave the hotel at 3:30am. I barely got about an hour of sleep the night before. But don't worry, I slept about two more hours on the flight to Orlando. We arrived in Orlando and shuttled to the Pop Century Hotel, I dropped my bags, put on my MagicBand, and went straight to Walt Disney World. I won't bore you with all the details of what happened at the parks but let's just say the following three days included, but not limited to:
We had another early call to get on the boat and I must say it was a perfect sight watching the sunrise from behind the ship. It was like something from a movie, I wanna say *The Lion King*...You exactly what scene I'm referring to. The cast was welcomed on board by a crowd of applause which I was totally not against. Ya'll...this ship is huge and I was getting lost pretty much every time I moved from point A to point B. But as we are getting through the crossover period it's definitely getting easier. We have been doing a lot of shadowing of the Dream 6 cast, which has been incredibly helpful and makes me even more excited to get started. We have this awesome cruise director who gave one of the most inspirational talks I've received from a stranger within five minutes of meeting them. The one thing that stuck in my head was him saying, "Embrace the isolation". This guy definitely has a grasp on #SeizeTheDay and has made me more determined to leave the ship better than when I came on. How that will happen I don't know, but you'd better believe I'm gonna have a blast finding out! Already I've met some interesting people from all over the world and might have signed myself up with a French instructor. How do you say "Yaaassss!" in French? Oh, I guess it'd be "Ouuuiiiiii!" Today is our opening cruise, meaning...it's all us at this point. We as a cast couldn't be more excited and I as a singular person could not be more proud of my cast. (You're gonna hear me say that a lot over the next several months so get used to it...) Ok, I have a video ready to be uploaded but our internet isn't the best, so sharing these videos are gonna be very infrequent. I apologize in advance so I guess I'll vow to take more photos instead. Bummer I know, but what can you do. One of my cast mates came up with a brilliant idea to hire a bus and take a trip to Niagara Falls. I have never been before and can now add that to my "Wonderful Places I've Visited" list. (Now, I'm up to two places...) Our bus driver was quite an interesting bundle of energy that I don't think any of us were ready for. It was like taking an RV trip with your corny Uncle Walter, who thinks he's hilarious but he doesn't get that you are laughing at him instead of with him. The first stop on the trip was the Diamond Estates Winery, partially owned by Dan Aykroyd, where I had my first sip of ice wine. Oh my goodness, the sweetest wine I'd ever tasted. Sure do wish I bought myself a bottle, but they were too expensive. But, you can believe I enjoyed the hell out of those free samples. Following the winery visit, we stopped in the small sleepy town of Niagara on the Lake. It was a beautiful town with one main street, with a bunch of shops and restaurants on either side. I did buy a moose covered onesie complete with buttflap. I know what you must be thinking, "How could you not resist?"...and to that I say, "I know right?!?" We finally reached Niagara Falls and spent about a half hour by the water before we stopped in what I can only describe at the Hollywood Blvd. of Niagara. This street, Clifton Hill, had mini golf courses, a giant enclosed ferris wheel, arcades, a casino, various restaurants and countless souvenir shops. I almost avoided falling into the tourist trap, but I played a round of laser tag with some people before heading back to Toronto. Our time in Toronto is slowly coming to a close, less then ten days and we'll be in Florida. As excited as I am to start working on the ship, I really will miss Canada...Anyways, saving the sentiment for a later post. Enjoy the video below! So, if you've seen the Stuck movie trailer...you already know what this video is all about so you can ignore this next section and jump straight to the video.
I was stuck in my apartment's elevator for about 20 minutes and did not have my coloring book with me for entertainment...I decided to lip sync for my life, not really...but this is an intimate look how my mind works in potentially "dangerous" situations. After my release I started thinking and realized that I am glad I recorded my traumatic ordeal. These are the moments that I will want to look back on and remember after this contract is over. Plus, it's a great ice breaker story... "Hi, I'm Brandon and I made a 3 minute documentary about being stuck in an elevator!" #Irresistible I know...I know...It's been a while since I've posted a blog entry...but if you knew exactly how busy we've been up here in Toronto, you would totally understand! Anyways, let's go in... Within the first week of rehearsals I was reunited with some old friends, made a few new ones, and even tried my hand at some Spanish web (Google it if you think it has anything to do with spiders...because it doesn't). Unfortunately I won't be performing any aerial acts onboard, but you better believe that I will sign up for some classes the minute I get back to shore! I've been running all around Toronto in freezing temperatures. I sometimes think back how I complained about 50 degrees being cold. Now, I would kill for 50 because my body and mind do not comprehend these negative degrees. I am having a great time getting to know the people in my cast as we trek through long rehearsal days and get together in the evenings to unwind, which usually involve a lot of laughter (just how I like it). Also, a few people have picked up the "YAAASSS!" Tuesdays are considered "cheap movie day" in Toronto, so I've seen more movies here than I have when I'm at home. Well, I've only seen two so far...but that's two within a week. I saw "Her" and "Labor Day"...if you've seen them, let's discuss! Oh actually, can we discuss the beauty that is POUTINE?? If you don't already know, it's a Canadian dish of fries, gravy, and cheese curds (and anything else people decide to top it with). It has been sent to Canada by the gods and I cannot get enough. And get this, they have a whole week dedicated to it (http://lapoutineweek.com)! I'm in poutine heaven because you can get it basically everywhere, even movie theaters! I keep waking up in a slight disbelief that all of this is happening to me, then I walk outside in the snow and realize that it's too cold to be fake. Enjoy this video update, because you've made it this long through my rambling... So a week has gone by since arriving in Toronto and saying that I'm loving it here would be an understatement. We have spent a lot of time training and in rehearsals and I have shed a tear or two at least once everyday. I am surrounded by such caring, hard-working, fearless people that I cannot believe it's real. I guess you could say it's truly a DREAM. *wakka wakka* Anyways, I put the final touches on a music video I started filming back in Los Angeles. I know the internet is overflowing with Frozen fan videos, and this one is just adding to the mix, but I think there's something about this one that sets it apart from the others. So please, enjoy...comment...share.
Luckily, I made tiny notes everyday on my calendar so remembering things is a breeze! (Which I totally recommend, if not an actual calendar check out the app Day One)
Looking back I'm glad to say that my resolutions of #NoFear2013, #OneSmallStep2013, and #SeizeTheDay2013 lasted throughout the year and motivated me to take more chances and live a happier, fulfilled life. I've gotten to meet some amazing people, try new things, travel to awesome places, realize a few dreams, and gain a better understanding of myself. I wouldn't change a thing about the last 365 days and can only hope that the next 365 will be even better. I have a resolution to add to the mix, #SelfAware2014...This is a promise to not be afraid to be myself (the whole self) at any time. To be aware of moments where I am at risk of dulling my shine for someone else's sake. There have been so many messages appearing in society to be yourself ("Let It Go", "Firework", "Born This Way", etc.),and not that I haven't listened to it before, I'm just willing to take it one step further. And I'm challenging any one reading this as well...Let yourself go...be crazy...be vulnerable...be upset (but don't dwell on it)...Don't do it for others, but do it for yourself! Wishing you a happy and prosperous 2014!
In April of this year I was selected by the Trevor Project (a national suicide prevention program) to help bring their new "Ask For Help" campaign to life (more information can be found here).
We as a society should also embrace people we see going through difficult times instead of just writing them off or labeling them "soft" or "weak" because even though we may not understand the entire situation, sometimes a simple gesture of support/sympathy can make all the difference. This is something I couldn't be more proud to support and think that more people should know that it is okay to reach out for support from loved ones or even the help of lifelines, like Trevor Project, instead of dealing with things by themselves. To view the final shot, check under "Reels" link... |
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