In my process of healing, the step of letting go is followed by moving forward. Not a "forgive and forget" combo but rather a "forgive and forge" mentality. This is when the responsibility of healing falls into my hands. But how do I move forward and avoid the same pattern appearing in a different form. I need to become familiar with my feelings. Life likes to haphazardly delivers blows like a MMA fighter and sometimes I am left shaken and bruised, ready to throw in the towel. Before I jump back into the fray, I do some required introspection in my corner of the ring. I question. I analyze. I confide in close friends I can trust with personal information about my inner state. This step is rarely easy because I'm used to doing things on my own and still learning how to ask for help. I apprehensively give others autonomy to do whatever they want with things I hold in close importance. Instead of carrying the burden of certain truths and realities seeking help helps me in letting go. Each time I'm able to tell my story the power weakens because I am becoming more and more acquainted to its face, as unwanted as it may appear. By having more support in the arena with me I am gifted outside perspectives to help shift my personal perspective. These new viewpoints bring relief from the victimized narrative I keep replaying in my head. I can now identify the negative stories popping up in the garden of my mind like weeds and start the process of removing them. Each story removed hurts; the amount of pain in direct relation to how deeply rooted it was. In its space is opportunity for something new to grow. I use the accompanying tears to begin watering the new seed (story or understanding I chose to tell myself). The ground from which these new thoughts spring forth is still affected by the old roots that are no longer present, but isn't stopped from doing all it can to provide a beautiful environment for the new blooms.
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